even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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