He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
