I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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