WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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