Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
do herpes really smell.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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