I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
