someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize