we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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