I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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