it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
