ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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