Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So squirting runs in the family.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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