we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
