My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
