last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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