I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
