I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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