It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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