I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Randomize
