so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
