she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
