I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
