I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
