Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
