look no pants
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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