so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
