I want to have your abortion
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
