Sponge bath it is.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize