But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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