We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
