Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
