He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
