look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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