took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He shit in the fireplace
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
