My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
