careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
