Christians are straight up FREAKS
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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