I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
