why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
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I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).