THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
