She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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