The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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