You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
