i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
are you so shy because you have an std?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
false alarm, still single
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