and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
