My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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