remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
