you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
