Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
