You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
