Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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