hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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