Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you had me at cake vodka
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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