Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
