I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
