What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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