I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
