I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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