ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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