I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
