I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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