Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize