Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
