wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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