Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
