I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Drake has all the answers
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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